Well, now. This really is your lucky day...!
Whether you have stumbled across my humble establishment by accident, were herded here by a well-meaning two-legged or came out of curiosity having seen me in my latest venture, Dog Tales, welcome!
The CyberPog House is open to everyone and we are always delighted to greet friendly, Pog-loving two leggeds but there are a few rules you should be aware of if you want to be invited back or, indeed, if you ever want to leave...
You will find we have catered very well for the call of nature that every animal hears from time to time and there are plenty of doo-doo bins around. If you have forgotten to bring a pooper scooper and/or doo-doo bags, we have a range suitable for two leggeds of all shapes and sizes so there is no excuse for leaving a mess anywhere.
If you do feel the urge to roll in something, please consider our other visitors and remember to shower before entering any of the enclosures on the site. Whilst having a darned good roll in something dead or rotting is always great fun, it's not always fair to subject the sensitive nasal passages of Pogs to the downright disgusting stench of this, apparently, popular pastime. You will find both soap and shampoo in the showers along with a range of toiletries suitable for all two leggeds.
We have a strict policy regarding offensive language and words such as "Sit!", "Lie!", "No!", "Wait!", "Down!" etc. will NOT be tolerated and may result in your IP address being permanently banned.
However, language along the lines of "Who's a bo-bo, den?", "Aren't you just de most handsome Poggie in de whole wide worldies?", "Does he want his chezzie rubbing, den?", "Would puppy like to go for a ride inna car and see de squizzells inna woods... would he...would he really...would he like dat?" etc. will earn you a HUMONGOUS amount of brownie points and a lifetime pass to the CyberPog House with VIP priveleges!
Our final and most important rule is DO NOT TRY AND TAKE SOMEONE ELSE'S JUICY BONE! Firstly, this is a very dangerous occupation that could result in severe injury if you insist on attempting it and secondly, we do have a range of reasonably priced fast foods which I'm sure will be far more appealing to two-leggeds than a half chewed, gristly, slimy, pog-slobber-covered knuckle bone. Then again, I have been known to be wrong on exceedlingly rare occasions...
So, with all the formalities out of the way, all that remains for me to say is come on in, grab a rug, basket or beanbag - whichever is your pleasure [paws off the sofa...that's MINE!] -
AND JOIN THE GREATEST POG-PARTY IN TOWN!